First midterm of the semester: October 8.

Last midterm of the semester: November 24.

By my calculations, that’s over a month and a half of studying, stress and sleep-deprivation. I think Columbia is out to get me.

This past couple of weeks, Carsick Cars has been touring the USA. They’re a Beijing rock band that I discovered during Summer of 2008; a plan that goes as far back as 2006, when Big D and I were making plans that were bigger than ourselves. I had asked Big D to come study Chinese with me in China for the summer, not really knowing what I was hoping to accomplish with that awkward invite. He responded by sending me a thick guidebook and a note – cordial and brief.

I read that guidebook cover to cover for weeks leading up to my trip, studying it as if it were a dense Physics textbook. Beijing is a city full of culture and history and yet my #1 place to visit was a virtually unknown music bar, D-22. Big D was the first to introduce me to the underground music scene and the thrill of moshing with strangers. D-22 was a return to that kind of elation, an excuse to lose myself in the pounding of the speakers, an intoxicating promise of the smoke-filled locales where most of the sweat on your shirt isn’t your own.

Hey, B? How do you deal with break-ups…?
Relationships are nice, but not necessary.
Now, you could do all the things you want to do.

I confess the need to do things to impress him. Things that will serve as a reminder that yes, I am still awesome, and yes, you were stupid to let me go. Carsick Cars and D-22 were always some kind of relic from summer past, a throwback I can’t help but send to him, in hopes of getting something (anything) in return.

Carsick Cars performed in NYC on four separate occasions in the past three weeks, and for each performance I could never make it there in time to catch a glimpse of my summer romance. Perhaps the fates have finally seen my twisted motivations and decided to purge me of my heavy baggage. I’m not sure when Carsick Cars will return to NYC, or if I will be able to catch them live ever again. But when “Zhong Nan Hai” comes on and I shut my eyes at the right moments… it’s like I never left that summer behind.