the musings of an Ivy League student in the American Metropolis
I really enjoyed the rock scene in Beijing last year, when I went to a music bar owned by a Columbia alum (D-22). It was especially cool to see Carsick Cars live; the drummer chick was so awesome.
My friends went to the Chinese Underground Invasion Tour tonight. I had to study for an Econ midterm.
Imogen Heap is absolutely brilliant. Her music (both her solo work and that from Frou Frou) captures so many of my emotions and their complexities. These days, it’s so hard to keep myself from sending him the song and lyrics, to keep myself from expressing to him what I feel.
mmm what you say / oh that you only meant well / well of course you did /mmm what you say / mmm that it’s all for the best / because it is / mmm what you say / mmm it’s just what we need / you decided this
Two realizations came from this video:
if love is surrender / then whose war is it anyway
and amidst the damages, i search for the pieces of myself
In the midst of this nothing, this miss of a life,
Still there’s this one thing just to see you go by.
It’s almost like lovin’, sad as that is.
May not be cool, but it’s so where I live.
It’s like I’m your lover or more like your ghost.
I spend the day wonderin’ what you do, where you go.
I try and just kick it, but then what can I do?
We’ve all got our junk, and my junk is you.
See us, winter walking after a storm,
It’s chill in the wind but it’s warm in your arms.
The stop all snow line, may not be true.
We’ve all got our junk, and my junk is you.
Well, you’ll have to excuse me, I know it’s so off.
I love when you do stuff that’s rude and so wrong.
I go up to my room, turn the stereo on…
Shoot up some you, and the you is some song.
I lie back just driftin’ and play out these scenes,
I ride on the rush all the hopes all the dreams.
I may be neglectin’ the things I should do.
We’ve all got our junk, and my junk is you.
See we still keep talkin’ after you’re gone.
You’re still with me then, feel so good in my arms.
They say you go blind, maybe it’s true.
We’ve all got our junk, and my junk is you.
It’s like we stop time. What can I do?
We’ve all got our junk, and my junk is you.
Today is Hippy-fest L’s birthday, and yesterday, we went out to celebrate with Rent and milkshakes from Tom’s.
It was a strange sort of evening, because everybody else there were really good friends with each other, and I was the 6th wheel… then the 10th wheel. (It’s a talent to be able to be the “extra wheel” even with even numbered people, I know.) The even stranger thing was that I didn’t mind being with the group and apart at the same time… I know the whole “loner” complex it more or less my own doing, but there is a safe comfort in being that way because I can never leave myself.
Maybe I am too judgmental towards others. But the truth is, I’m constantly searching for the new Big D; not even someone to date, but just someone to connect with. It discourages me so when I get to know someone well enough to find out that they’re not so much like me as I had thought. Opposites are supposed to attract, but I know that I’m only looking for superficial opposites of myself with essentially the same… sense of humour? personality? goals? outlook on life?
Rent on Broadway was so much better than the movie. It was grittier and real, not to mention that the movie cut out a whole bunch of scenes. I really connected with the plot this time, even though I’m still the same straightedge, heterosexual girl I was before. The show gave me hope, and I guess you can say that Rent might have given me a new lease on life.
there’s only us,
there’s only this,
forget regret…
Holiday and I come home
I hope to see this boy I know
I can’t wait for us to be alone
Flipping through the radio
We sing along to the indie show
The songs they play mean more than I can say
And the tape I made you,
Hope you think of me when it plays through
I’m kinda sad now that it’s done
You think my time is for free
In all the ways you say to me,
Sweet versions of let’s wait and see
You’re always a golden boy
And I’m the girl that you enjoy
My parents say isn’t he a gifted son
Time is always passing
By but still I have to wonder why
You can’t come to tell me I’m the one
Summer goes and we have grown
We have our friends,
Live on our own
Still I’m not the girl you want me to be
Say gravity can bend the time,
Funny, I always liked your mind
But this whole thing is crushing me
But you’re always a golden boy
And this girl’s heart that you destroy
You smile at me and then you have your fun
Time is always passing,
Still, I give you another try
And hope that you will see that I’m the one
You say you’re scared to get too close
Come let’s see how it goes
I see you now at the show,
The 7th in,
The 7th row
Now you look at me
And see what I’ve known for so long
Sad that you could be so lovely and so wrong
Came to say that I moved,
I see your face you don’t approve
Guess you could say that I’m already gone
But you’ll always be my golden boy
And I’m the summer girl that you enjoy
Some melodies are best left undone
I feel the time pass away
But in my songs you will always stay
I don’t need you to tell me I’m the one
You’ll never know that I was the one
