So I’m currently preparing for my final final, scheduled for tomorrow (or rather today) morning… and it’s kind of a bittersweet feeling, because freshman year is so over. To be extremely cliched, it was just yesterday that I moved onto this campus…
I’m not quite sure what I expected college to be like, or since I had always wanted to go to Harvard, if I had even expected Columbia to be any thing at all. I didn’t expect to break up with Big D (again). I did expect to get back together with him (again). I thought that I would be doing a lot more activities, but in some ways, I’m also surprised at the amount of stuff I did. I expected to bring on a different personality, to be more confident in myself. I didn’t expect the same “types” of people here: jocks, nerds, bitches.
After a year, I feel very connected and removed from this campus. Connected because, well, because I spent such a large part of this year living, breathing, laughing, crying on these grounds. Removed because… New York is not my home, and I haven’t found ties to ground me here, yet. I’d like to think that my first year at Columbia has changed me for the better, that I learned lessons and experienced college or life as it “should” be experienced. I’m not sure about that, though. Maybe I have been missing out on a whole lot while I tried (occasionally) to get back what I had lost to finally get here.
I’ve always had such optimistic hindsight. (It drove him crazy.) But it somewhat comforting to know that I came from a great place in my life, and looking back, I know that I’ll think that this was a pretty sweet moment as well.
